How can Carmelites give up marriage and sex? Had Christ not come, we would all be called to marriage. But Christ has come, and in doing so he brings with him a new way of life. His coming transformed marriage into a sacrament (or means of encountering God) but it also opened up a new possibility for some outside of marriage. This new possibility is religious life. It is for those men and women Christ calls into total conformity with his mission in the world. Christ was unmarried, so we gladly follow him in this way. Carmelites give up marriage and marital intimacy for greater intimacy with God. At the same time, as for any human person, the need for intimacy with others is not lost. Practically, too, being unmarried makes us more available to others and more able to build up the Kingdom by prayer, preaching, and charitable works. Carmelites have their own, spiritual offspring in all those whom they serve. How can Carmelites give up wealth and material possessions? We live in a prosperous country where a very high standard of living is taken for granted. We are conditioned from a very young age to be consumers. Advertisements cajole us into buying the latest and the greatest. But do you know what? All these things finally leave us unsatisfied. Why? Because we are created for far more. Not more things but more love. God is love and we love God because God loved us first. Turning away from material things allows us to more focus on the fact that God alone satisfies, He is our All in All. We are reasonable, though, in our approach to the vow of poverty. We do not starve and we do not fail in our ministries for lack of money. We hold our property in common. Poverty is a way to build up community. How can Carmelites give up freedom by vowing obedience to superiors? This is a tricky question. We are used to thinking about freedom in terms of self-autonomy -- being able to do whatever we want whenever we want. But this is not true freedom, but what some call caprice. This kind of freedom leads to alienation from others. But true freedom is rooted in love and that means it is interpersonal -- fundamentally responsive to others. We are persons in community and to be truly free we must be truly in community with one another and with God. Carmelites give up a particular kind of freedom but gain a new, deeper freedom in community. We are responsive to the needs of others and can act as one because we abide by the decisions of the community as expressed by its superiors. This is a collaborative freedom that recognizes the freedom of each as persons in community.